Art Classes

Even before I knew I had Cushing's, my daughter (and later daughters) began growing up with me feeling like I was just there.

I was so exhausted from sleep deprivation stemming from insomnia, feeling out of breath because I was overweight, and just overly stimulated because of the hypertension and heart palpitations. I was watching them grow up not so much as a participant in their lives, but more of this withdrawn observer.

Fast forward to today. I am feeling GREAT! Normal again with energy that allows me to be fully present. I can walk, I can play at the park, I can function and remember things because I am sleeping again and the laundry list of ailments are all gone!!

Physically speaking, I have gone through what most will never understand.

Emotionally speaking, I think I have gone through even more.

I recently signed my eldest daughter up for art classes. She is officially enrolled and will be attending on a regular basis. She is so excited and happy to finally be in a class.

In the past, it was not that I didn't want to enroll her. It was more like... I couldn't.

I felt so ill. So dizzy and nauseous, so tired, so lethargic. I could not commit to anything that required me to be somewhere on specific days and times for an extended period of time.

Sometimes I felt well enough to "get through it," but others likely ended in cancellations, money loss, and ultimately more guilt.

Last week, as I sat there in her first class watching her in her prime, I was brought to tears. I could finally do this for her. I could finally do this for me. Proof that I made it. We made it. She saw my struggles and still loved me nonetheless. Even when I felt like I was failing at all of this.

Since I was a child, I myself, have had a passion for art. So, to see my daughter with this same love... it's a beautiful feeling.

She is far more creative than me, and I know that she is loving every single moment. Every single class.

A part of me healed last week. The part that felt like I was a "bad mother" because I had no energy to partake in any fun activities (classes, birthday parties, school events, etc). The part that felt like I was this shell of a human. With literally nothing inside except a longing to sleep and find the root cause of my feeling so unwell.

I now know the reason behind the 8 long years of suffering--and it was the awful illness that God has finally cured me from. I feel like I have this second chance at life!!

I am and will always do what is in my power to be PRESENT in all that I do with my family.

Last week, another piece of my mosaic HEALED!